The Pain We Call Love
by Minty-Fivestar
Summary: Love isn't always happily ever after. In fact, it can be one of the most painful things of all. Steven, Champion of the Hoenn League, learns this the hard way, when he admits his feelings to the Pokemon trainer he loves...


**The Pain We Call Love**

By: Minty-Fivestar

Revision 1.2 (2/28/2010): Edits and such. For now, I've decided to spare this story from my mass removal of fics.

Something I wrote about 5, 6 years ago. I had more plans for this one at the time, but I've since tossed out this storyline. So, this is a sort of one-shot that has nothing to do with the rest of my Pokémon fanfics. Just... enjoy the emotion, I guess?

Please enjoy!

* * *

"And that's… it…" I whisper to myself. Past the knocked-out form of my trusted Metagross… was her. The one person who had ever defeated me in my time as Hoenn League Champion.

And strangely enough, I don't feel upset at all…

"Is that it? Do I win?" she asks, coming up alongside her Blaziken in the center of the arena. It was indeed a powerful Pokémon; it survived a devastating Earthquake from my Metagross to claim her the win. That took great skill.

I pull a smile. "Yes, you do win, Tani. Congratulations. You're a Hoenn League Grand Master now," I say to her.

A beautiful smile lights up her face, and she hugs the Blaziken. "Yay! We won! We won, Blaziken! Yay!" she exclaims, jumping up and down. She seemed so young… She had told me she was 15, but she seemed younger than that. Perhaps it was because of her innocent charm.

The girl, Tani Tsuzurei, approaches me slowly, her gleaming eyes hidden by blue sunglasses. "So now what?" she asks me. "Do I get something, Steven?"

"I'm supposed to enter you and your Pokémon into the Hall of Fame," I reply, recalling Metagross as I speak.

Tani follows my example, and recalls Blaziken as well. "Oh… yeah, I know."

"Do you?"

"Um… yeah, I've heard about it," she mumbles almost nervously.

Why was she nervous? The worst was already over.

"You also get this," I say, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a Hoenn League Master pin. It looked like a red and blue Pokéball with the letters M and A on it. "Here." I hold it out in the middle of my palm for her.

"Thank you, Steven…" she whispers, taking it from me. A strange sensation goes up my arm as she touches my hand for a brief second.

Dare I…?

"You've been so kind to me," she says softly, fingering the pin thoughtfully. "I'm not sure I would have made it here if not for your help…"

"It was nothing," I reply. "I owe you more than you do me."

Tani doesn't reply.

I close my eyes, thinking back to when we had first met. She had been delivering a letter from my father to me. And once I met her… something happened. With each subsequent meeting, from watching her battle a Kecleon to waiting for her outside the Cave of Origin as she battled Kyogre, this feeling has been growing. Especially since after Sootopolis City… I remember all the anxious thoughts that ran through my mind as she entered the Cave of Origin… Jumping at every echo I heard within the cave… The minutes seeming to go by like hours… When I saw her come out of that cave, shaken but triumphantly holding the Pokéball containing the Legendary Pokémon within it, I wanted to take her in my arms, and tell her…

Only I didn't.

Perhaps I wasn't that strong then…

Opening my eyes, I saw her putting the pin into her pocket and fiddling with her necklace chain. I remember… when I met her for the second time, on Route 118. We had both sat down for a while and talked. She told me she had come from Kanto to start her Pokémon journey. She said she had wanted to start somewhere new, somewhere exciting. She had introduced me to Pichu, one of her first Pokémon friends. In return, I told her about me.

Ok, I didn't say I was the Hoenn League Champion (that would surprise her after defeating the Elite Four). But I did tell her I came from a wealthy family, and I liked to collect rare stones (as if you couldn't figure that out after five minutes of talking to me). She had gotten a thoughtful look on her face, and asked if I was related to the President of Devon Corporation, Mr. Stone.

Her perceptiveness has always impressed me.

I replied that yes, he was my father, how did she know? And she had blushed very cutely, and admitted that we looked related, and both liked to collect rocks. Her adorable manner appealed to me greatly, and ever since… it's gotten to where I am reminded of her everyday.

But I have never admitted it to anyone.

The people I see most often (which isn't often at all, really) are my Elite Four members. And I wouldn't tell them anything if my life depended on it. Sidney would be an annoying jerk about it, and Phoebe would tease me constantly. Drake would be… sinister, I suppose (I try to avoid him as much as possible), and Glacia would probably scold me. For liking a girl three years younger than me.

But there isn't anything wrong with that, is there? Especially if it's what I truly feel…

Even my best friend, Wallace, would possibly tease me. So I've kept it to myself. Problem is, the longer I keep it a secret, the more afraid I am to admit it to anyone. Even Tani herself. Even when she came out of the Cave of Origin alive and well, and I was so overjoyed to see her I could have hugged or even kissed her, I couldn't admit it.

I wasn't that strong…

Dare I admit it now? It would be the perfect time. But I'm not even sure of what my feelings are! Could I call it love? I'm not sure. I've never felt love before.

But, still… if I feel it this strongly inside me, it must be love. Nothing to do but admit, and perhaps I can know for sure.

I snap back to reality again, and to my surprise, she isn't even facing me. She's facing the wall, her hands folded in front of her and her head bowed. What is wrong?

"Tani?" I ask softly. "Are you all right?"

Tani stiffens, and she doesn't answer right away. When she finally turns, she looks a little sad.

"Are you ok?" I ask again.

She smiles, which relieves me. "Yeah… So, I guess I've got to be entered into the Hall of Fame now, right?"

"Yes… but…"

"But?"

"I…" I freeze. Now is the time to tell her the thoughts I've been keeping trapped inside me. But… I'm frozen. Petrified with fear. What might she say? How will she react? "Tani…"

"What is it, Steven?" she asks gently.

I want to look into her eyes for comfort, but I can't. Her blue sunglasses cover them. I really want to see her eyes… "Tani… I… I've been thinking about our friendship lately, and…"

"And?"

A pause. "You have always been a good friend to me, but… there's something else…"

"Something else? Like what?" She looks worried, afraid that something's wrong. I can't let her think that.

Deep breath. "I can't say I know why, but Tani…" Pause. My heart is beating hard in my chest. Here goes… "I… think I'm in love with you."

Silence. Her mouth drops open slightly, and her eyebrows crease in shock. "You… love me?" she whispers.

Nervous swallow on my part. "Yes…"

Tani looks down at the floor, as if she isn't sure what to say. "Why…? Why me?" she asks finally.

"Because… you're the only person who has been as nice to me as you are. There's something about you… I think it's how honest and sweet you are, how cheerful and bubbly and gentle you act, even in battle. I just…" I pause to get a hold of myself. "I've never felt this way about anyone else. It… has to be love."

I want to hold her now, but when I look at her, I realize her lip is trembling. "You… think I'm… honest…?" she chokes out.

"Yes…" I reply, confused. "Aren't you?"

As soon as I say that, she sinks to her knees, bursting into tears. She takes her sunglasses off and buries her face in her hands, crying. The sobs hurt me; I can't bear to see her so upset. I kneel down in front of her and gently hug her to me. "Don't cry…" I whisper, holding her close.

She can't answer, but she hugs me back and sobs into my chest, her tears soaking the tie I wear around my neck. Not that I care… I let her cry for a long while, until she is all out of tears.

"What's wrong, Tani?" I ask gently.

She sniffs loudly, and speaks without looking up at me. "Steven… I'm afraid I haven't been honest with you," she says in a high-pitched, slightly nasal voice.

I'm not sure what to say. "What do you mean?" I ask, pulling a small tissue pack out of my pocket and giving it to her. "What haven't you been honest about?"

She pauses to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. "Everything."

"I… don't understand."

"I lied to you, Steven," she replies bitterly. She doesn't sound high-pitched or nasal anymore, but she doesn't sound like Tani, either. She sounds… tougher. More confident. "I lied when I said this was the first time I'd been on a Pokémon journey. I lied when I said I was from Fuchsia City. I even lied about my name."

"You… can't be serious," I say. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was just kidding. She had to be.

"I'm dead serious, Steven!" she says angrily, finally looking up at me.

Meeting her eyes with mine.

I blink in amazement. Her eyes… I'm seeing her eyes for the first time. They're beautiful… gleaming in the light with tears yet to be shed. But, no… I know these eyes… I remember… looking through a copy of Pokémon League Quarterly… at the pictures of the Masters. These were the eyes of… No.

I study her face. Her brown hair, now shorter. The greenish-brown eyes. It was her… but… it couldn't…

"You…" I stammer. "You're…"

"Yes," she replies, looking a bit ashamed. "I am Samantha McPhoenix."

Time seems to freeze for me as she says this. It was… really, truly her. But… but that meant…

"And that means…" I realize, my heart screaming for it not to be true. "You… already…"

"Yes," she whispers again, sounding guilty. "There's already someone back home I love."

Of course. It was sort of a rumor, but a true one. Gary Oak. Both were supposed to be extremely fond of each other. They had had years to form an unshakable bond by developing the same feelings I had developed in only a few months.

Fair? No. But, it was probably right…

"You… really love him… don't you?" I whisper, already knowing the answer.

"Yes. I do…"

I close my eyes against her words, but that doesn't stop my heart from breaking. The girl I give my heart to… already has someone else she loves. Nothing can ever heal that stabbing pain. It's worse than anything I could ever imagine…

"Steven, I never meant to hurt you…" Tani—no, Samantha—says tearfully. "It was a security thing. If people knew who I was, they'd mob me, or try to battle me, or… even try to steal my Pokémon. I couldn't go around Hoenn like that!"

"I understand that… but didn't you think any better of me to tell me who you were? Before… I…" I stop and swallow a few times to maintain my composure. I'm aware of the fact that my voice sounds slightly high-pitched.

I can't cry…

"I did, Steven. I thought very highly of you," she replies. "But… I wanted you to like me for who I am, not for my reputation. See… it's hard for me to make new friends nowadays… cause my status colors their opinion of who I am before they get to know me. I just wanted you to like me for me… But I never intended for you… to fall in love with me…"

"I understand…" I mumble again. My brain feels numb with agony; how much more could I take of this?

"I'm really sorry," she whispers. "Really. I do like you a lot, Steven, but as a friend. Please forgive me…"

I nod and stand up, not daring to look at her. I can't. "I do. It's ok," I lie, making my way to the Hall of Fame computer nearby. _Maybe you like me just as a friend,_ I think to myself, _but I'll always love you as something more…_

I stop in front of the computer for a moment, straining to hear something from her. But she is silent. _I probably just ruined her whole Hoenn League Master experience,_ I think bitterly. _But she's better off than me, I suppose. I just ruined my whole life._

I press a few buttons to turn the computer on, and as I do, something wet runs down my cheek and drips onto the keys. I slowly lift my hand to touch my cheek, feeling the tears falling from my eyes.

The same hand I gave her the Master Pin with…

Emotion overwhelms me. I have never felt so unfairly deprived of something in my entire life. Falling to my knees, I prop my arm against the front of the large computer console, bury my face into it, and sob. Loudly. I don't know what her reaction is. And I don't care.

The bitter, cynical voice within me is the only thing I hear: _Great job, Steven Stone. You broke your heart for the Pokémon League Grand Master. And now, you're crying! Crying, because the one true desire of your heart can't be yours! Why?_

A moment of silence.

_Because…_ I answer myself quietly. _I'm just not… that… strong…_

* * *

...Cause you know, everyone wants to love or be loved by Steven. Hehehe.

I'm not a huge drooling fangirl over Steven, but darn it, he's such a sexy devil. Can't help but indulge slightly every once in a while.

I was ready to delete this one, but it seems more people like it than I thought, so it'll stay. Thanks for all the support, and please review if you can!


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